Happy Friendsgiving Month!!
In which I remember that I should've posted about my friendship with the lovely Catie Stewart (Cat Stew, Stay Fierce, Dad) turning 10 years old this summer! And the beautiful & wise Allison Tims, one of the NEW FLUF CONTRIBUTORS, interviews the two of us via facebook message.
We're also starting a Friendsgiving submission thingy where you can submit your heart-warming & hilarious stories about friendships that have impacted your life!
Read on for details <3
Allison Tims: Let's get started then
Sarah Crawford: YAS
the perfect start haha
A: how did you guys become friends?
S: Catie r u here
A: catie it would help this whole thing if u would be present
S: CATIE Y R U SUCH A DEADBEAT DAD RN
Catie Stewart: SHOOT SRY IM HERE NOW
S: LOL thx for showing up
A: Sarah first question is for you how many times has catie not pulled through for you
Besides right now
S: hahah NEVER catie is the worst. And by that I mean she is my constant life source supporting me every minute of every day so yeah she's like my second mom.
so catie remembers this slightly differently than i do, i think, but we became friends at church camp the summer after 5th grade when i hated all my roommates so i went to her room and forced her to hang out with me
A: Catie how do you remember it?
C: what really happened is all the cool kids were hanging out and were ignoring us so sarah and I became close and we were ~*Saturn's Rings*~ ever since
S: the outer rings. never part of the planet. always doin our own thang
A: How has your friendship evolved over the years through your changing stages of life?
C: ooh. what's weird is that even though our lives have changed so much, I genuinely don't think our friendship has much. we always support each other and have each other's back, even when we disagree, we've only ever fought twice and that was over boys (obviously)
S: it's cool because we've been friends for 10 years this past summer and after hearing someone tell me that "if a friendship lasts past 7 years, it'll last forever," i did some research.
& for some reason that number is true. but also there's been research on middle school friendships and basically almost none of them last because they're purely based on convenience of like going to the same school usually and people change so much during and after middle school, you have nothing in common with those people once you're out of it.
kind of like that scene from orange is the new black where one of the older ladies tells two silly girls who are friends that they won't talk to each other after they're out of prison cause there'll be nothing to talk about any more... my middle school actually did kind of look like a prison haha
but yeah like catie said it's amazing because we've both become so much more mature and come into our own but our friendship has only gotten better because of that. and our church friend group is really unique in that we are all in college now at different places but we've all kept in touch. and we're not your typical goody two shoes youth group, we're real people and we love to party together but also be there for each other through some really sucky shit that life throws at you
C: but at the same time, if you can get through middle school and high school, I feel like you can go through anything else
you know, getting through hell together and coming out the other side
S: seriously. college is huge too but there's something about the forced going through puberty and english class and figuring out dating all together all at the same time in middle/high school that is unlike anything else in life
A: Catie, obviously Sarah finding her passion for clothing & style changed her as a person, in a super positive direction but different nonetheless, was it weird for someone who you had been friends w for such a long time change so much or did it feel natural for Sarah to become ~*the fluf*~
C: honestly, it was a very natural transition. she started by trying to not wear tshirts, then started dressing how she wanted to, then started to be comfortable enough to show others the cool stuff she put together. So, we went through #styledbysarah which was fun and she helped me style a lot of my own stuff, but when she decided to do the Fluf, it jut felt so right. she debated forever on the name, but once she started it, it made sense
S: haha yeah i'd just like to thank Cat for spurring on that whole "no t shirts" challenge that started it all
C: she always tells me "confidence is the best accessory," and she's right. I was actually thinking about it this morning as I was pondering middle parts. Most people can't do it, but Sarah can. and purely because she wants to. She started doing it to try it, liked it, and kept it. and now it looks totally normal, even though on other people it makes me stop and question it
whats so great about sarah and her doing the fluf is that she's being herself completely and encouraging others to do the same. She's been real about her insecurities, heartbreaks, fashion issues, and weird habits. She's being real and I love it
A: I'm just gonna say that I go mixed up & thought Sarah sent that last message & I was like I like this new direction Sarah is leading us where we talk in 3rd person
C: hahah sarah does occasionally talk in third person
S: hahah u kno sarah she crazy
A: I just wanna clarify as we move forward that in my head Im using a game show host accent while I'm asking all these questions
C: thank God, cause i'm picturing you as steve Harvey
C: you've aged well
For the record, this is what I look like right now
S: cat u luk GR8
A: Were there any points in the past 10 years that you guys have struggled to stay as close or felt yourself drifting apart?
C: LOL totally. I think the hardest part in our relationship is navigating boundaries as we grow older. As in any relationship/ friendship, when people grow, their values/ideas/feelings change. Last year, Sarah and I struggled a lot with that! Growing up, we had always had the same basic viewpoints on everything: religion, boys, parents (except politics... *heavy southern accent* THOSE DEMN LIBERALS). Last year, we began to not see some things eye to eye anymore, which was fine, it just meant we had to stop and renegotiate our mindsets in order to be true to ourselves, but respectful of our differences. It can be hard to watch someone you're close to change, but it's important to remember that even if their views change, theyre still the same person and are still worthy of love, respect, and friendship.
we spent a bit relearning how to talk openly and respectfully even if we disagreed, but i'm very glad we did. it's an important skill to have in any instance, especially close relationships. I'm glad I can be honest with Sarah and she'll tell me her thoughts, but will be there for me regardless and visa versa.
FOLLOW THAT HA SUCKER
S: huh interesting i was about to be like "nope, never really had too much of a problem!"
but that's because i like to glaze things over and view my past optimistically
C: lolol oops
glad we’re on the same page. trying to be #tru 4 da readers. tryin to #relate
S: what catie said is totally true. i feel like it may have been more a struggle for her last year and a struggle for me this year as she started to change a lot too. we went through the same type of post-break-up ups and downs just at different times
apple doesn't fall far from the tree
S: and we're really good about talking candidly with each other about huge issues but it takes practice obviously
C: (mainly from me)
S: yeah haha. i like to literally word vomit everything i'm thinking and work through huge life issues outloud. last year was a lot of "i miss having a boyfriend. what about this guy, he's cute! i'll ignore all of our personality differences..." (insert catie: "this is a terrible idea sarah") me: "well i know it's a bad idea but i'm doing it any way ok? just like roll w me here"
and so i'm sure that got annoying but that's the way i process things and catie is a great listener and a huge support. she really learned how to deal with my constantly changing emotions on the fly. she's gonna be a great mom one day
on the other hand she loves to listen and not always to share. and i am not as good at being a mom. so this year has been a lot of me prying and annoying her and her eventually humoring me and opening up, at least if for my sanity. but i like to think that sharing her struggles with me has helped even if advice i give her is not very sage or like parent-appropriate haha
so long story short we go through all these adventures together and it may be hard while we're in it but it's really cool to have this kind of friendship where you keep each other accountable and ride the ups and downs together
and just be so real, like tooooo real, with each other hah
C: Yeah and Sarah is great about being patient and letting me talk about my emotions on my own time (though sometimes she forces me). 'Cause I eventually will. I just have to lie around and moan stuff like "kill me with a chainsaw" or "someone bury me with a spoon" loudly for days until I feel emotionally ready to discuss.
(also the complete obviousness of how we communicate is displayed here: sarah with paragraphs and paraphrase and me with a short blip and funny pictures)
S: Yeah I'm really trying to cut it short here I have so much more to say hahah. We work so well together but sometimes we have to switch roles and do things we're not good at and that's where the ~~*personal growth*~~ occurs
you still there allison or have we bored you to death? haha we're like an old couple it's gross
C: it took me so long to find the squiggly on the computer.
also I'm watching bobs burgers until she reappears
S: the most important key on the keyboard omg ~~~~**!!**~~~~~
C: HAHAHAHAHAH WATCH NOW
A: I am SO SORRY I've been MIA
I had some mini Christmas tree related emergencies
^while all my friends stress about college registration this is my life it's casual
S: hahah it's ok i am so proud you already have a tree and it is november 5 #goals
C: don't get any ideas
I mean it
S: CATIE HATES CHRISTMAS AND SHE HATES ME
A: WHAT ADVICE WOULD U GIVE A COUPLE OF AWKWARD MIDDLE SCHOOLERS WHO JUST BECAME FRIENDS AND WANNA BE FRIENDS FOR LIFE LIKE YOU GUYS
S: oh dayum that’s good
C: ummm.. be respectful. don't middle part your hair if you have bangs. also, don't pull back your ponytail so tight you look bald.
S: ummmm i would say go to church together?
not necessarily that haha
but i think one of the huge reasons catie and i are still friends is not just because of our faith but because of the really unique fellowship and mentorship that happens in our youth group back home. it's definitely not a perfect church, there's no such thing, and i don't think it's something that can only be found in a Christian group or even a religious group - you can find this type of special intimacy between a big group of people in all sorts of places - but it really is just all of our commitment to hanging out multiple times a week, talking about the real stuff, helping each other through things even when no one really knows the right answer
C: ooooh RT
S: omg i wish i could find that bald pic of you catie... i'm going to do it
we both looked so weird in middle school
C: do it and die sarah
S: main advice: THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR YOUR BABY FAT TO MELT AWAY
C: HOLY CRAP YAS THEREIS
I HD TTO WAIT TIL HALFWAY THR HIGH SCHOL\
C: IM currentlyeating cookie dough and craxkers
S: my diet this year has been pizza, queso, and many, varied forms of chocolate
don't eat all the cookie dough w/o me pls <3
So unless you have more questions Allison, I just wanted to say that one of the most important parts of catie's and my friendship is that it's about so many more people than just ourselves
C: [[we're just the best and most important]]
S: Our youth group, like i said. We're still best friends with two other girls, Beth Anne and Ricki, who we've known since middle school too.
C: jk I heart them so hard
S: and our friends we made together in college - Amaleah, Allie, Hannah, Tori, Solina, K8 4sberg
and YOU Allison! Our little bb feminist queen
A: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
y'all are my whole hearts
Probs would be dead w/o you
But a little true
S: I want the world to know that you entitled our group text "my moms & me" and i love that
and i think the relationship the three of us have embodies the importance of the internet (bc we don't get to see each other in person enough), and humor, and FEMINISM am i rite
C: USO RITE
S: ladiez loving ladiez 4ever<3
rt rt rt
S: YAS JINX OMG U OWE ME A SODA
or cookie dough will suffice
S: mmk glad we had this talk
WE LOVE YOU ALLISON
* virtual group hug, butt slap, high five, air smooches all around *
A: I just want the world to know about us but I don't know who to tell
i'll post it on the blog
and then like 15 ppl will see it
so that's almost the world, rite?
S: seriously love you guys
C: I'm done with emotions but yoi two are nice
This interview has barely been edited, as you can tell by all of Catie's spelling mistakes. LOL
SUBMIT YOUR FRIENDSHIP STORIES HERE!
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TIS THE SEASON!