got 6 small council: blood of my blood

Return of the (Toad) King
~* If he can’t handle u in your wildling clothes, he doesn’t deserve u in ur 7 kingdoms clothes *~

screengrabs from HBO & The Walt Disney Company


The one where Catie and I are separated by many miles and moons but ARE SO COMMITTED TO THIS SHOW & EACH OTHER that we watch at the same time and live text it. Does this mean that we are the best blogger friends ever or just have no lives? Up for interpretation.

Other important things to note: This week I watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies for the first time since like 2008 & realized that 1. Those movies are STILL amazing. Cinematic masterpieces. And 2. the High Sparrow is played by Elizabeth Swann’s doofy wigged father. Very off-putting.


B R A N

Catie Stewart: Aerys looked just as I wanted him to. 

Sarah Crawford: I wasn’t paying enuf attention to notice his appearance but I was excited we're seeing more pre-season 1 stuff.

Cat Stew: Yeah me too! I really wanna see all his stuff. Also I liked the Hardhome recap it was just a good episode.

Sar Craw: Poor Meera. Bran is such an annoying helpless person for having the "fate of the kindgoms in his hands".

Cat Stew: Literally stfu Bran. "They found us" all deadpan… CAUSE OF YOUR BROKE ASS

Sar Craw: Hahahah so content w death & wasting all his powers.

Cat Stew: So pumped Cold Hands is finally there.

Sar Craw: Also this is the THIRD FUCKING deus ex machina in this season.
I’m a fan of this one actually… But like why so many? I have never noticed these extreme plot conveniences before.

Cat Stew: Oh look at you Ms. Fancy words. But yeah I think it's cause they're getting to the end and they have to tie up all these loose ends asap.

S A M

Cat Stew: Okay so for hating him so much, his dad sent a bitchin carriage. And that baby is SO CUTE for being an incestuous crazy. 

Sar Craw: I KNOW RITE. This baby is 1. Adorable and 2. Grew up more in like one episode than it has in the past 2 seasons. wait PAUSE

Cat Stew: Done

Sar Craw: 9:52. brb

Cat Stew: Lol. This whole thing is such a testimony to #longdistancerelationships
(Us, not the show)

Sar Craw: hahaha yas. side notes while we're paused- breaking my dessert addiction is SO HARD

Cat Stew: lol whyyy are you doing that
Oops I mean… Proud of you!!!
I'm trying but even when I don't buy desserts I find something bad for me to snack on anyway

Sar Craw: PS I’m ready to go again I’m staring at Sam’s face. Mouth slightly open

Cat Stew: OKAY
Three
Two
One

Sar Craw: I realize Gilly isn’t from here and also isn’t the brightest. But like how does she not understand the importance of not bringing up her wilding roots

Cat Stew: Yeah for real. Maybe since she only knew like her close family she doesn't get it?
(Sam’s) Mom is a BABE. Sister looks familiar, like someone else on the show?

Sar Craw: How is the Mom so much more attractive than her children? Look at her HUR DO. I love it. The sister reminds me of a Pride and Prejudice character maybe?

Cat Stew: Sam’s bro is a babe though

 Sar Craw: Or is it Anna Bates from Downton?

Cat Stew: Ooh I can see that. To both. I can't tell if his sister is stupid or just young? 

Sar Craw: I think the sister just looks like silly honestly.

Cat Stew: EXACTLY.

 Sar Craw: Gilly, silly. You get it

K I N G ’ S   L A N D I N G

Tommen the Toad visits the High Sparrow, who lets the Toad King see Margaery. She puts on a very good “I buy into the High Sparrow’s BS” face. Lord Toad is delighted.

Sar Craw: Ok Margaery always plays her cards well but this is VERY convincing. I was honestly confused at first.

Cat Stew: I can't tell what angle she’s playing. Like obvi she wants to get out and free her bro but she is SO serious about how she was "a bad person"

Sar Craw: RT

Cat Stew: Wait have they slept together…?

Sar Craw: Um Margaery and Tommen? Yes.

Cat Stew: Yeet. Wait really? I thought they were gonna wait until he was older! 

Sar Craw: Yeah remember that episode where he was like, “Wow that was so fast!” and she was like, “Yeah... thanks a lot.” 

Cat Stew: Poor bb Tommen wants to know things but just doesn't. LOL I had completely forgotten about that

Sar Craw: He’s stupid. I like him better when he’s with her tho because he’s so devoted to her. Besides that, he has few redeeming qualities. 

Cat Stew: Oh yeah he adores her. And I think even though she will scheme to get what she wants she won't throw him under the bus or screw him over. Her nose is so cute

Sar Craw: The interesting thing about her monologue is it’s all true but she also doesn’t really mean it. It was all an ego thing and a good PR move for her to “care” about the poor and so is this fakey religious thing she’s doing now.

Cat Stew: Yeah for sure. She's a smart lady. 

Sar Craw: She’s better than Cersei because she’s not intimidated by her potential opponent. She wins them all over and uses everyone liking her to get to the top instead of trying to kill her way to the top.

Cat Stew: Which I like. Dude the way Marg loves her brother sounds so incestuous, even though it's not

Sar Craw: I know that was so weird. “I love my brother. I will always love my brother.” Sounds like a Cersei line

S A M

Sar: Gilly’s transformation is pretty but like…

Cat Stew, at the same time bc we are so *NSYNC: Okay Gilly IS pretty but the way they've done her hair and our fit I just hate. It looks so unnatural. I know that's kinda the point but it's awkward 

Sar Craw: ~* If he can’t handle u in your wildling clothes, he doesn’t deserve u in ur 7 kingdoms clothes *~

Cat Stew: UGH SO TRUU. Use that as the tagline or Pinterest it or something.

Sar Craw: I guess he did love her before but this is the first time he’s told her she’s beautiful that I remember.

Cat Stew: I think he did before? Like when he met her maybe and was trying to boost her confidence?

Sar Craw: Hmm. Dude this is such a throwback to Season One Sam. I hate it. He’s come so far.

Cat Stew: I know I hate it. Still love the mom.

Sar Craw: The brother seems stupid.

Cat Stew: The dad looks looks like he would live in a back alley and murder people and eat rats or something.

Sar Craw: EXACTLY. like the Rat King from the Nutcracker. I have a hard time understanding characters like this because they’re so stupid and one dimensional. (Sam’s dad) 

Cat Stew: Hm that's a good point. I didn't think about it like that, but he is. One way 5ever. Also she could have just said she rode with the nights watch to help or something that's when he killed one. VALARYIANNNAHAH STEEL

Sar Craw: Um wut haha? Sam Lopez made the point that basically this entire scene sums up to “Sam gets another Valyrian steel sword”. They spent too long on this part of the story haha

Cat Stew: I think they wanted to remind what reception they would receive the more they traveled?

Sar Craw: Side note can you imagine living in a world with no snack pantry……….

Cat Stew: Omg. BUT you also just ring a bell and a servant brings you stuff?  

Sar Craw: But like no crackers. All I eat is crackers

Cat Stew: I WANT CRACKAS SO BAD. 

Sar Craw: I just thought about the mom being like “I lost my appetite” and I feel like in that world, there would be very little to cause me to leave the table and potentially not eat again for so many hours.

Cat Stew: Hahaha omg "The injustices I would withstand for food." I like that.
His hair looks sexy pushed back. 

Sar Craw: Hahaha whose? The baby’s?

Cat Stew: Sam’s ya crazy. YOU GO SAM (as he dramatically finally musters up the courage to burst back into Gilly’s room and take her away)
This is such a Dawson's creek moment or something.

Sar Craw: Exactly. I don’t know what the deal is but the music this season bothers me more than it ever did in the past.

Cat Stew: It is hella dramatic.

A R Y A

Sar Craw: So interesting that Margaery like doesn’t talk at all in this play but in real life she is running the show.

Cat Stew: Yeah but it's also such a testament to how much nothing is true in #thenews.

Sar Craw: Exactly. But I didn’t think about it till the writer’s commentary after - this is kind of cool for arya bc she really wanted to see Joffrey’s death.  

Cat Stew: I wonder if she really believes Tyrion did it?

Sar Craw: I don’t know... I’d really like to get into her head about all of this. I think she has a healthy skepticism.

Cat Stew: Also the directors comments pointed out the importance of the mirrors/ reflection when she poisons it and when the lady almost drinks it

Sar Craw: Hmmm I didn’t think about that. Super cool. I cannot believe she is finally going to be a Stark again.

Cat Stew: I couldn't be more happy.

Sar Craw: And I reeeeally want her to kill that stupid bully girl. 

Cat Stew: Idk why she likes this actress woman so much though?

Sar Craw: I like her!

Cat Stew: Like, I wouldn't wanna kill her anyway, but I'm surprised she let her sympathy get in the way?

Sar Craw: “She would want to kill the person who did this to her” - You can like see her deciding she doesn’t want to give up her Stark identity here.

Cat Stew: I also almost think she totally understands Cersei and ~*might*~ feel for her

Sar Craw: Yeah... I still think she’d kill her.

Cat Stew: I wanted her to join this troop but now she outed the other girl so she can't

Sar Craw: Especially after Tommen is dead and Arya knows Cersei has nothing left to live for. Bc I think Tommen’s death is looming unfortunately.

Cat Stew: NO WHY

Sar Craw: It’s inevitable. I think Cersei’s prophecy is going to come true.

Cat Stew: Oh I forget about those. Arya doesn't know about Myrcella though.

Sar Craw: Yeah but she’ll learn everything quickly once she gets back to Westeros I think.
I love how they let Arya leave after she like accuses the young jealous girl of attempted murder lol. Do we think she’s gonna go straight for King’s Landing or her fam?

Cat Stew: I bet King’s Landing. Unless she hears they're trying to take back Winterfell. WTF why does she go back to the House of Black and White though??

Sar Craw: Yeah. But I think she’ll want to finish her list before she gets tied down by family probably. She’s been alone for so long.

Cat Stew: That's true. But she LOVED Jon you know?

K I N G ’ S   L A N D I N G

Sar Craw: I LOVE this dumbass speech by father Tyrell.

Cat Stew: I know he's such a goob. What happened to his wife?

Sar Craw: I don’t know, they’ve never said!
They’ve been doing such a good job of awkward stupid real life moments this season like when have you ever seen an epic movie speech gone wrong haha.
This scene is amazing. That picture of Tommen, a boy in a crown, and Margaery, a girl in her simple clothes, is so good.

Cat Stew: Yeah that picture is amazing. Especially when they grab hands.
Okay but by this speech, she's agreeing that she knows bro was gay, which goes against her whole plan.

Sar Craw: I freaking love it. If I was a common person I would eat that shit up like Will and Kate. I’m wondering if she’s going to sacrifice him to stay on top / because he was so broken last time and unwilling to fight with her and escape.

Cat Stew: Dude idk. I can't see her doing that, it's way too brutal to like her only friend.

Sar Craw: She’ll have to figure out a way. Maybe she’ll liberalize the faith. Be like, “we need to focus on feeding the poor and loving others instead of punishing homosexuals?” Who knows man. I trust her. And I don’t give a flying flop about Loras haha

Cat Stew: Noo I like him!

Sar Craw: Loras?! What on earth does he bring to this show? They made him and Renly both horrible gay stereotypes and I hate it.

Cat Stew: After The Sparrow said, "We yearn for it" and paused for SO LONG I wanted Jamie to say "good" and throw a spear or something.
Dude I can't wait to hear the tongue lashing Marg gets from Olyenna

Sar Craw: It would be nice if they changed it but I think it’s too late. Honestly I think when she reveals what she’s doing to olyenna, she’ll be impressed

Cat Stew: Like this is her first true stand doing things 100% on her own. Granted, she had to, but still. A bold move

Sar Craw: Margaery can do no wrong. NO. WRONG!!!
I think Marg could honestly kill everyone in the royal family and rule herself and I’d be down. And so would the public.

Cat Stew: Wow. Passion.
But I think Oly probs doesn't like not knowing what's going on.

Sar Craw: Look how stupid Tommen looks.

Cat Stew: What a goofy bb.

Sar Craw: I am chanting “Toad King” slowly in my house by myself

Cat Stew: LOLOL

Sar Craw: Is tommen srsly unaware that he’s a bastard of incest?

W A L D E R   F U C K I N G   F R E Y

Sar Craw: The return of Argus Filch! Where is Mrs. Norris? :))) I want brownie batter so bad omg

Cat Stew: Omg dude hahah. Does Frey marry his daughters too?

Sar Craw: #Withdrawals. No I don’t think so

Cat Stew: He just has like hella wives?

Sar Craw: Yeah just a lot of baby 13 yr old girls so like not much better.
At what point does he learn he’s creating his own problem by having so many freaking children?

Cat Stew: Lol yeah I don't need THAT many kids back sassing me

Walder Frey’s idiot sons inform him that the Blackfish and the Brotherhood without Banners have retaken Riverrun.

Cat Stew: BROTHERHOOD W/O BANNERSSS = LADY STOMEHEART BITCHES. I hope?

Sar Craw: Is that who Stoneheart was with?? Do you think they’ll bring her back this late in the game?

Cat Stew: Yeah!! Thoros brought her back. Idk it's such a big thing… how could they not?

Sar Craw: What if she just showed up, unexplained, slit Jamie’s and Walder Frey’s throats, and then disappeared?

Cat Stew: Like she doesn't do anything big plot-wise in the books yet, but she basically owns the bro wo ban and starts to slowly pick off the Freys during the battles.

Sar Craw: I just thought she was supposed to come back ages ago… but I would love to see her.

T W I N C E S T ,  E P I S O D E   2 0 0 0 0

Sar Craw: I still love Jamie. But I rly rly miss Cersei’s hair. She’s not the same w/o it, as sexist as that may sound. It was such a beautiful symbol of vanity

Cat Stew: Yeah his hair is longer than hers. I think the gold blonde is way too much this time.

Sar Craw: Also like this is so old “Show them what we do to our enemies. We are the only people in the world who matter. They have no idea how strong we are, what we’re going to do to them” BLAH BLAH

Cat Stew: Did I tell you/did you tell me about the Sept's rumored secret weapon?

Yeah I'm like over it. I thought he genuinely cared for Brienne and that was gonna go somewhere.

Sar Craw: The only thing I can think at this point is that the writers keep repeating this 1. To annoy us and 2. To show the twins’ delusion and sign of their impending doom.

I have a mosquito bite right between my boobs. How

Cat Stew: #thirdnipple

Sar Craw: Why.

Cat Stew: I want Jamie to stay though. 

B E N J E N   &   B R A N

Sar Craw: How does bran not recognize benjen when literally everyone else saw this coming

Cat Stew: BECAUSE BRAN IS A FRIGGIN IDIOT THATS WHY. I like the way they did Benjen’s makeup.

Sar Craw: Ok so like.
He has a sword of ice and a piece of dragon glass inside him. He’s like ice and fire embodied. #thatskewl

Cat Stew: So like he's kinda physic too now, right?

Sar Craw: Is he? Also wut’s w the blood drinking?

Cat Stew: Well he said he knew Bran saw the White Walkers made. I'm assuming the blood drinking is cause he's like a half dead? Idk I didn't even notice honestly.

Sar Craw: He gave it to Bran which I don’t get. Protein? lol  

D A E N E R Y S …   W H O   K N E W   D R A G O N S   C O U L D   G E T  B O R I N G

Sar Craw: What would Dany do without her advisors? She doesn’t know any of the answers.

Cat Stew: Lol 5 real. All she knows is violence and what she wants. She assigns others to figure it out and then when they do that, she changes the plan and does whatever BA thing she wants.

Sar Craw: I realize that’s just a good manager #delegating
Is she not concerned about what he just said? “You’re not made to sit on a throne, you’re a conqueror?” That doesn’t just apply to Meereen - that applies to the 7 kingdoms. It honestly might be better if she died at the end of all this. 

Cat Stew: He's right, she hates ruling and dealing with all the politics. Dude what?! Blasphemy. 

Sar Craw: That would be kinda pointless after all she’s done to get there but I can’t see what else she would do. Just sit on the boring old throne forever? I don’t get it.

Cat Stew: Maybe she could become like the main Kingsguard so she can kill things?

Sar Craw: Also ok… This dragon speech makes no sense. She literally just came to the conclusion that her ships won’t be ready for ages because she needs like 1000 that haven’t been built. So now she’s rallying the troops to hurry up and wait? Until she starts heading west, I am bored of her.

Cat Stew: WHERE DID HER HORSE GO, HUH. I wanted her to say she was picking three heads of dragons here. 

Sar Craw: I KNOW I THOUGHT SHE WAS. I was worried because I want them to be Jon and Tyrion. Or maybe Arya.

Cat Stew: I feel like Arya wouldn't be into the whole listening to others thing/ cooperating. 

Sar Craw: How cool (and far-fetched) would that be if Tyrion was a Targaryen too? there were rumors / fan theories. Yeah I just thought of her bc of Nymeria

Cat Stew: Oh yeah I've heard that too. 

Sar Craw: My brother pretty much summed Dany up tho when he texted me like “I’m tired of Dany just jerking herself off on everyone for 6 seasons”like this has just been a lot of talk. I realize she just burned a bunch of ppl to death and won over the Dothraki but…

Cat Stew: Yeah like the only reason she's a big deal is the people who back her and #dragons

Sar Craw: The last 5 seasons have ALL been stall tactics to keep her from getting to Westeros too early. That’s been the plan from the beginning.

Cat Stew: Her confidence and recklessness is gonna backfire soon.

Sar Craw: Or she’s just gonna be real disappointed when she wins and has to stay in one place and stop killing everyone.

Steve’s one comment for this entire conversation: Yeah where tf did Danaerys’ horse go?

N E X T   E P I S O D E ' S   P R E V I E W

Cat Stew: Wait is the old guy the Blackfish? 

Sar Craw: Yes... who did you think he was? He’s old but still hot haha.

Cat Stew: Idk now hahah but yeah. Silver fox and all that. I am PUMPED about everything Sansa does. 

Sar Craw: Are we caught up w the books there yet?

Cat Stew: Yeah, I believe the books ended with her and Theon jumping? But I honestly don't remember there being a gf of Ramsey's who they killed. They just jumped the wall when Winterfell was being attacked by Stannis and everyone was distracted.

Sar Craw: Nice. Sansa is my queen. Torn bw her and Margaery.

Cat Stew: Best of luck writing all this up, It's much more than usual I think. 

Sar Craw: Why don’t we just get rid of Tommen and start the matriarchyBased on friendship instead of bloodlinesWhat if they do 7 queens of 7 queendoms. Sansy gets the North. Margaery gets the South… we could just do 2 queens actually. 

Cat Stew: Wait do you think Marg really liked Sansa or that was a scheme as well?

Sar Craw: I think she really liked her because she didn’t have to help her. I mean she is potentially the heir to the north which is politically helpful…

Cat Stew: Well she was trying to get her out of the city and into High Garden.  

Sar Craw: But there was no real reason for her to take pity on her / want to do that for her. And Olyenna was the one who used sansa for the poison necklace. I think Margaery would have protested

Cat Stew: That's v true. Did she say anything when Oly told her? 

Sar Craw: Nope lol. A little *gasp* “Granny!” woulda been nice. 

Cat Stew: Hahah I guess she's used to it by now

Sar Craw: Haha yee. and would pretty much push anyone aside for the throne. Her best line ever: “I don’t want to be a queen. I want to be THE queen.” One of the only times we saw her true motives

Cat Stew: I think she's even more clever than Cersei cause she can actually control her anger and isn't violent; she is the throne-grabbing version of Varys or something. Knows what social buttons to use

Sar Craw: RT. Aight g2g bb thnk u 4 the last hour of ur life <3