buckle up for fashion armageddon

Some People Just Like to Watch the World Burn
by Taylor Timmons

| Yo yo yo its your girl, Taylor, ready to slay you |
Sarah likes when I rant about fashion so guess what I’m gunna do, rant my tiny ass off. This opportunity will not be wasted. A little something 4 da huneyz.
Mama said knock you out, and what mama says goes.

(Prepare yourself for too many pop culture references and unnecessary abbreviations of the English language)
Here we go, buckle up.

Questions that have been clouding my mind lately:
1.     WHO IS BECKY WITH THE GOOD HAIR?

2.     Why does Facebook not have cover photo videos??

3.     How much would a personal “view” of Drake cost? Can you put a price on love?

4.     Why did Eurydice look back? Was she enjoying hell or was Orpheus just a fling she could not get rid of?

a.     (Beastie Boys’ Sabotage spitefully plays in background)

b.     Eurydice playin opossum hoping Orpheus will give up

5.     Princess Charlotte and Prince George look exactly the same. (This is a statement but I question the likelihood of sibling doppelgangers)

6.     Are my SnapChat stories worthy of becoming a visual album? (It's tbtimmons, if you were wondering)

7.     Has Anna Wintour’s hair been a wig since the 90s?

8.     Why am I reading Met Ball as meatball?

9.     Are we on the brink of a fashion apocalypse???????

If you’ve ever heard me Van Gogh your ear off about fashion, you have been blessed and cursed by my universal wisdom (pretentious, yes, but this is a ploy for self promotion).  This lassie can talk for hours about the inner workings of the fashion world, but lately, I’ve been really anxious about the future of fashion. It is the best and worst time in history to be a fashion lover. Fashion is at its height. It’s everywhere, all the time. Some might say we have peaked. This is our breaking point. Unavoidable by every standard, which is part of its charm and fast downfall. Just the word “fashion” is overused, but overall undervalued. The true meaning and our full understanding are beyond all of us. Even Miranda Priestly would be overwhelmed with all the shit going on. It is healthy for a constant change in this industry but where does this madness end? At this point, my emotions can’t take it.

Imagine a world of post-apocalyptic disaster (specifically pertaining to the art of dress). No no no, I’m not talking about the costume design for Mad Max, which was lit FYI. I mean, Rosie Huntington-Whitely is such a babe… I’m strictly speaking on the collapse of our current fashion empire. Since my life-altering obsession with the Oscar de la Renta Fall ’08 RTW and Kate Moss on the cover of Vogue of August ‘08, I have seen many ups and downs leading to my fashion apocalypse conspiracy theory. Maybe I am over exaggerating about the string of events and evolution of fashion since I fell in love with this mesmerizing industry. But, has the string of current events been a sign of renewal, revolution, a cleansing of the demons from within? Only time will tell (says someone who is stressed af and has no answers to contribute to proper conversation).

The power of the fashion industry goes unnoticed about 95% of the time (not a proven statistic but trust a bit). My favorite thing to do is “educate” a new friend on what is actually happening “this season” (says an idealistic college student studying fashion at a non-fashion university). Yet, many people don’t know where their clothing comes from, how they were produced, the artistic origin of their $20 knockoff Proenza Schouler cold shoulder top, or most of the bullshit trends laid out in a shitty analysis of the season. There is so much disconnection in an empire that is constantly trying to keep you connected. You can’t escape us. We will make you desire new products without telling you the side effects of overconsumption, material obsession, self-doubt, and overall lack of meaningful satisfaction. I foresee a desolate, irrelevant fashion world that drove itself straight into the ground because it didn’t know its limits. Actually, scratch that, we knew the limits and didn’t give a flying fuck.

Maybe this is the true face of fashion: a soul sucking demon that uses you for an undetermined time then moves on to the next host. Maybe I’m a little salty about Kim and Kayne ever being considered to be on the cover of Vogue. Maybe I was blind to fashion’s true darkness, and it has been a cultural apocalypse the whole time.

Dior FW16 show

Even if you are or are not at the heart of the fashion world, it is close to impossible keep up with everything that is always going on. Seriously, there is so fucking much, even for me as a devoted fashion minion. There are 6 fashion seasons in a year, an ungodly amount of social media outlets (Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook), brands can update new arrivals as quickly as every week, and I personally read 10 magazines each month. It is important to remember that this is a business. As much as I and everyone caught up in this well-dressed web have tried to promote fashion as the connector of all cultural events, it remains first and foremost a blood sucking leach with the primary motive of profit.  That is where I see the true roots of its downfall. Less is more is no longer relevant. Give us ur money and ask no questions.

There seems to be an aggressor in the heart of these houses, because lately it seems like every creative director of historic brands have been dropping like flies.

Just a recap of recent events:
·      Hedi Slimane departs for Saint Laurent, April Fools day (it was no joke)
·      Alber Elbaz departs from Lanvin, Oct 2015
·      JW Anderson’s brand completely dissolved
·      Raf Simmons departs from Dior, 2015
·      Alexander Wang departs from Balenciaga, 2015
·      Marco Zanini departs from Schiaparelli after 1 year with the house, 2014
·      Marc Jacobs departs from Louis Vuitton , 2013
·      John Galliano “departs” from Dior, 2011
(Rumors that Karl Lagerfeld is retiring and Hedi Slimane will take over at Chanel)

This is a very short highlight list of a much longer list that details the beginning stages of this so-called fashion Armageddon that I foresee with my evil eye.  Creative Directors are the heart of a brand. These departures have different reasoning behind them like a change of scenery, or to focus on their own brand, or the ultimate walk of shame. However, when those within the industry cant even stand the current state of their environment, how can we carry on the legacy of the greatest global business in the world? Yawl, this ain’t a self-sustaining supply chain. We will watch it crash and burn like the Twilight franchise. Granted, it has always been highly competitive with lack of remorse for those catch in their cross fires. Also, it is important to note the politics behind creative directors leaving and entering a new house. It is natural to an extent but at the current rate, I am getting whiplash. Should we prepare ourselves for the inevitable? Or pray for the best? Are these the signs of a crippling empire? Where is the breaking point? Will fashion become obsolete? So like me to over exaggerate, but homiez, I'm voicing my concerns.

Truly devastating potential departures:

Nicolas Ghesqiere from Louis Vuitton
Riccardo Tisci from Givenchy
Olivier Rousteing from Balmain
Peter Copping from Oscar de la Renta
JW Anderson from Leowe

Throw ur handz in the air if you a tru player (aka you are also a pawn in the game of fashion, don’t lie.)
Check yourself before you wreck yourself @fashion
As you can obviously tell, this was just a long, written down rant. THX for reading. If Sarah ever lets me write again after this fashion propaganda piece, I promise I will be way less intense and a happy lil’ ray of sunshine/ talk about why I actually love fashion.
HMU if you want to talk fashion, be my friend, and/or eat French fries.

“Obama out”
(Drops mic)

MORE APOCALYPTIC READING MATERIAL
http://fashionista.com/2016/04/designer-rumors
This article got me fuqqed up. So much drama in the musical chairs in the creative director scene.
http://observer.com/2016/03/without-creative-directors-how-are-lanvin-and-dior-faring/
http://fashionista.com/2014/11/designer-musical-chairs-2014