toast & tea: for all you working "girls"
Don't let 'em get you down.
WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS AT A BUSY WORKPLACE WITHOUT SEEMING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON?
Dear Working Girl’s Melanie Griffith,
Having work friends is extremely important. You need confidantes, gossip-mongers, people to eat lunch/order small plates with. But the work-friend can be a hard one to make. Your workplace’s friendship circles could already have strict hierarchies, inter-department alliances, queen bees & maybe even actual bees before you even roll in. The best way to make friends fast sans craziness? BREAK THAT SHIT UP.
Some friendship icebreakers you may use free of charge and full of gusto:
Ask what everyone had/made for dinner. Super easy, all humans love food, and you may even get the opportunity to *SWAP RECIPES*
If your work environment isn’t super strict (they never are), email articles or funny videos to coworkers you want to get to know better. Always good to start with an intro that connects the two of you, like: “Carla told me you like dogs! Here’s a labradoodle doing a headstand.” Carla doesn’t even have to fucking exist. Run with it!
Sticky notes. People think they’re funny. In any form. Post ‘em, paste ‘em, arrange ‘em. On your things, other people’s things. Walls, ceilings, office pets. Sure, you’ll be known as the sticky note girl. But tell me...is that so bad? IS IT?!
Throw yourself into the middle of any and all office microcosms. Burst into chat sessions with your hottest takes on rogue staplers and email etiquette. Cast a wide net and you’re sure to catch at least a portion of ‘em all. Be yourself and be social-dangerous, but also review your HR handbook or whatever. Some people don’t want to be kissed.
Wishing you luck & water cooler chatties,
WHAT ARE SOME SIMPLE, FUN EVENTS I CAN HOST FOR MY FRIENDS ON A BUDGET? I'M TRYING TO HAVE FUN AND ~FOSTER A SENSE OF COMMUNITY~ BUT YA GIRL AIN'T GOT NO MONEY.
Dear Hostus Wanting Mostus,
Tell me about it. Isn’t a simple, inexpensive event where the fun flows and the community deepens’ the ~real~ *American Dream*? But we can figure this out together. We are capable. We are fun. FUN, I TELL YOU.
The trick to all this, of course, is disguising your effort/lack of cash. Theme parties are great for this. Open up a 70s Prom Handbook, point your finger anywhere on the page, and there ya go. Have your guests come over dressed en garb Under The Sea or Parisian Middle Of The Day, Moroccan Carnival or Poor Farm Town Dancing Beneath The Corn Moon. Guess what - you’ve got built in decorations at no expense! Provide some water, throw a BYOB into the invite, and you’re set.
Hosting get-togethers in outdoor spaces can cut your costs down too. Why worry about cleaning up your drab apartment, renting out the nearest dancehall, or texting your Rihanna concert hook up (they have a loft), when you can take over your local park! Bring some blankets, make it a potluck, maybe there’s wine - I don’t know - either way: BOOM, you have a dinner party! Socialites be damned.
And if all else fails - take it to the street. Find a cul-de-sac, any will do, set up some folding chairs and tables, steal a grill (they will be in all of the yards), pop on a couple’a cheapo turkey burgers, and whoop-de-whoop: BLOCK PARTY. Just be sure to leave the police blotter on, know your rights, and hide your POC. <<<<<<THIS HAS BEEN A COMMENTARY>>>>>
Hope you can get your cheap boogie on soon,
I'M A GIRLY GIRL TO MY CORE. BUT I'M ALSO A BADASS. AND I GET JUDGED AS IF I'M NOT. HOW CAN FEMININE WOMEN MAINTAIN INDIVIDUALITY WITHOUT BEING INTERPRETED AS WEAK?
Dear Sugar, Spice, and Chemical X,
I’m currently in a professional development course wearing high-waisted flare jeans and turtleneck Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, talking to people about “girly” things like ban.do and Instagram photography. There are 24 other job-hunting homies here and two program leaders who’ve enjoyed long, successful careers. Everyone’s taking my presence and contributions seriously - no weird looks, ignorance of my ideas, or passive aggressive comments.
Why is this? Is it the fact that I’m surrounded by millennials in one of the most liberal, casually-styled cities in the world? Is it because I made sure to dress to impress for my first week before I broke out Mickey? Who knows.
All I know is that I am lucky. It has not always been this easy for me to be taken seriously and many women in the world have never felt this luxury. Should it be a luxury? No. How can we ensure that women are guaranteed de jure AND de facto equality? How can we bring an end to the idea that to be respected like a man, you must dress and act like a man?
We’re not men and we don’t want to subscribe to an old school gender system anyway.
WHATEVER YOU DO, do not change you. Instead, realize that this can be an opportunity to start meaningful discussion. I know it is annoying as hell to constantly usher the uninformed citizens of the world into the year 2016. But remind them that separate is not equal. Women may sometimes look or act differently than men, but this does not mean their professional prowess or societal treatment should be different than those of men.
Try to bring the haters into the light of equality. Sometimes they may not listen. If they are too stubborn, or out of line in any way, go rogue. Elle Woods is a great example. You don’t need them. Work hard and enjoy your life. Prove em wrong if you feel like it, ignore them if you don’t. This process is otherwise known as being a normal human. Your sexist troll peers might learn to be normal too!
I know for a fact that if they don’t catch up with the rest of us soon, society is going to leave them behind. I hear that Lady Justice and her sister Karma are not fans of misogyny.
1. Some inspiring Malala Yousafzai quotes, but really you should just read her whole book
2. Zooey Deschanel on being a Fucking Feminine Feminist
3. “All the things I want to tell my brother (and all men) about feminism” by Rachel Charlene Lewis
4. Mehreen Karim! Proof that young people are making the most powerful strides in feminist conversation
5. Take a page out of Amandla Stenberg & Rowan Blanchard’s books of internet action
6. Make sure to share in the comments / send us a message if you have any more tips / reading material!
Keep up the good fight, my feminine feminist friend.
Ghostbusters photo by Columbia / Sony